12/2/19
To my dearest,
My anxiety gets in the way of life, my life. Sometimes I want to talk and nothing comes out. By the time I hear it, dissect it and gather myself I am left without words. Instead I have these questions, the doubt filled questions wondering what this person really meant when they said this or said that?
My anxiety gets in the way of life, my life. It stops me dead in my footsteps when that opportunity to speak and participate arises. See it is happening right now. I am stuck between a thought doubt, and fear. One feeling after the next. It just happens like that. I try to add some reasoning in there somehow but that is a task in itself.
My hands are shaky heart beat a little fast, where is my anxiety medicine? I am instructed to take as needed and that seems to be quite often. Nothing too extreme but enough to knock the edge off, release this tightness in my chest. I use to describe it as somebody stepping on my chest but that’s not the case anymore.
It is as if somebody has taken a fistful of my lungs squeezing them tighter than tight. Twisting them and whispering shut up in between my short breaths. Maybe a little graphic but that’s that. My anxiety gets in the way of life, my life.
XOXO,
